CREATING METHODS OF HAPPINESS, PEACE & SUCCESS

Topics for the ‘Personal Growth’ Category

 

Morning Wellness Rituals: Episode 025



“ With the rising sun comes a new beginning”

 

How you start your morning sets the tone for the rest of your day. Establishing a few morning wellness routines can truly create positive changes in your life. The key is to identify what resonates with you best and create an easy, no fuss way to implement the practices.

 

Have you already subscribed to my podcast? If not, I’m encouraging you to do that today. I wouldn’t want you to miss an episode.

And, if you’re feeling extra loving, please share it and leave a review; it makes it easier to find. We can all benefit from a little nudge to start making small shifts towards increased health and happiness 🙂

Overcoming Resistance To Change: Episode 023



“ When things change inside of you, things change around you “

There are times you may think about changing something, yet you resist taking the committed action towards making it happen. Examining your beliefs, values and feelings can help you develop a strategy to make the change occur. Today’s episode explores some of the top reasons why “change” can become complicated and what to do about it.

 

Have you already subscribed to my podcast? If not, I’m encouraging you to do that today. I wouldn’t want you to miss an episode.

And, if you’re feeling extra loving, please share it and leave a review; it makes it easier to find. We can all benefit from a little nudge to start making small shifts towards increased health and happiness 🙂

 

Overcoming resistance to change checklist

Emotional Flow: Episode 21



” Everything is temporary; emotions, thoughts, people, and scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it. ”

 

Emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are. Learning how to recognize and accept them may take practice, patience and persistence. By acknowledging your emotions, without judgement, you can allow, accept and make space for the experience until it passes or changes. This episode guides you how to begin.

 

Have you already subscribed to my podcast? If not, I’m encouraging you to do that today. I wouldn’t want you to miss an episode.

And, if you’re feeling extra loving, please share it and leave a review; it makes it easier to find. We can all benefit from a little nudge to start making small shifts towards increased health and happiness 🙂

Things you can do to feel better



There are many things that happen every day that can cause you to feel ill, uncomfortable, upset, anxious, or irritated. You will want to do things to help yourself feel better as quickly as possible, without doing anything that has negative consequences, for example, drinking, committing crimes, hurting yourself, risking your life, or eating lots of junk food.

Read through the following list. Check off the ideas that appeal to you and give each of them a try when you need to help yourself feel better. Make a list of the ones you find to be most useful, along with those you have successfully used in the past, and hang the list in a prominent place—like on your refrigerator door-as a reminder at times when you need to comfort yourself. Use these techniques whenever you are having a hard time or as a special treat to yourself.

 

  _____ Do something fun or creative, something you really enjoy, like crafts, needlework, painting, drawing, woodworking, making a sculpture, reading fiction, comics, mystery novels, or inspirational writings, doing crossword or jigsaw puzzles, playing a game, taking some photographs, going fishing, going to a movie or other community event, or gardening.

_____Get some exercise. Exercise is a great way to help yourself feel better while improving your overall stamina and health. The right exercise can even be fun.

______Write something. Writing can help you feel better. You can keep lists, record dreams, respond to questions, and explore your feelings. All ways are correct. Don’t worry about how well you write. It’s not important. It is only for you. Writing about the trauma or traumatic events also helps a lot. It allows you to safely process the emotions you are experiencing. It tells your mind that you are taking care of the situation and helps to relieve the difficult symptoms you may be experiencing. Keep your writings in a safe place where others cannot read them. Share them only with people you feel comfortable with. You may even want to write a letter to the person or people who have treated you badly, telling them how it affected you, and not send the letter.

_____Use your spiritual resources. Spiritual resources and making use of these resources varies from person to person. For some people it means praying, going to church, or reaching out to a member of the clergy. For others it is meditating or reading affirmations and other kinds of inspirational materials. It may include rituals and ceremonies—whatever feels right to you. Spiritual work does not necessarily occur within the bounds of an organized religion. Remember, you can be spiritual without being religious.

_____Do something routine. When you don’t feel well, it helps to do something “normal”—the kind of thing you do every day or often, things that are part of your routine like taking a shower, washing your hair, making yourself a sandwich, calling a friend or family member, making your bed, walking the dog, or getting gas in the car.

_____Wear something that makes you feel good. Everybody has certain clothes or jewelry that they enjoy wearing. These are the things to wear when you need to comfort yourself.

_____Get some little things done. It always helps you feel better if you accomplish something, even if it is a very small thing. Think of some easy things to do that don’t take much time. Then do them. Here are some ideas: clean out one drawer, put five pictures in a photo album, dust a book case, read a page in a favorite book, do a load of laundry, cook yourself something healthful, send someone a card.

_____Learn something new. Think about a topic that you are interested in but have never explored. Find some information on it in the library. Check it out on the Internet. Go to a class. Look at something in a new way. Read a favorite saying, poem, or piece of scripture, and see if you can find new meaning in it.

____ Do a reality check. Checking in on what is really going on rather than responding to your initial “gut reaction” can be very helpful. For instance, if you come in the house and loud music is playing, it may trigger the thinking that someone is playing the music just to annoy you. The initial reaction is to get really angry with them. That would make both of you feel awful. A reality check gives the person playing the loud music a chance to look at what is really going on. Perhaps the person playing the music thought you wouldn’t be in until later and took advantage of the opportunity to play loud music. If you would call upstairs and ask him to turn down the music so you could rest, he probably would say, “Sure!” It helps if you can stop yourself from jumping to conclusions before you check the facts.

_____ Be present in the moment. This is often referred to as mindfulness. Many of us spend so much time focusing on the future or thinking about the past that we miss out on fully experiencing what is going on in the present. Making a conscious effort to focus your attention on what you are doing right now and what is happening around you can help you feel better. Look around at nature. Feel the weather. Look at the sky when it is filled with stars.

_____Stare at something pretty or something that has special meaning for you. Stop what you are doing and take a long, close look at a flower, a leaf, a plant, the sky, a work of art, a souvenir from an adventure, a picture of a loved one, or a picture of yourself. Notice how much better you feel after doing this.

_____Play with children in your family or with a pet. Romping in the grass with a dog, petting a kitten, reading a story to a child, rocking a baby, and similar activities have a calming effect which translates into feeling better.

_____Do a relaxation exercise. There are many good books available that describe relaxation exercises. Try them to discover which ones you prefer. Practice them daily. Use them whenever you need to help yourself feel better. Relaxation tapes which feature relaxing music or nature sounds are available. Just listening for 10 minutes can help you feel better.

_____Take a warm bath. This may sound simplistic, but it helps. If you are lucky enough to have access to a Jacuzzi or hot tub, it’s even better. Warm water is relaxing and healing.

_____Expose yourself to something that smells good to you. Many people have discovered fragrances that help them feel good. Sometimes a bouquet of fragrant flowers or the smell of fresh baked bread will help you feel better.

_____Listen to music. Pay attention to your sense of hearing by pampering yourself with delightful music you really enjoy. Libraries often have records and tapes available for loan. If you enjoy music, make it an essential part of every day.

_____Make music. Making music is also a good way to help yourself feel better. Drums and other kinds of musical instruments are popular ways of relieving tension and increasing well-being. Perhaps you have an instrument that you enjoy playing, like a harmonica, kazoo, penny whistle, or guitar.

_____Sing. Singing helps. It fills your lungs with fresh air and makes you feel better. Sing to yourself. Sing at the top of your lungs. Sing when you are driving your car. Sing when you are in the shower. Sing for the fun of it. Sing along with favorite records, tapes, compact discs, or the radio. Sing the favorite songs you remember from your childhood.

Perhaps you can think of some other things you could do that would help you feel better.

 

 

A SAMHSA publication

How to get over the guy, that’s no good for you.



 

You have loved him and you have hated him. You have laughed, cried, made adjustments, compromises; but the relationship just doesn’t work out.

It seems that you have tried everything to make it better

but, nothing seems to work.

 

And sometimes you see glimpses of hope, yet they are quickly shattered.

And you promise yourself that this will be the last time, yet, it isn’t.

You spend countless nights thinking, “what’s wrong with me?” “I need to let go of this already” but your heart still yearns for him.

 

Why is it so confusing and difficult?

 

One of the reasons that letting go is tough is because neurons that fire together wire together. Basically, it becomes a habit.

 

What that means is that your experiences become embedded in a network of brain cells and each time you repeat a particular thought or action, you strengthen the connection between your neurons.

So, the more you think of him, the more he will still be around- at least in your head.

The good news is that once you stop focusing your attention on him, the connection will weaken and letting go will be easier.

 

Here are some ways to let him go, opt-out, process the loss, accept and move on:

 

1) Stop calling, texting, emailing, or checking on him via social media. That reinforces your neuron loop.

 

2) Stop analyzing the situation. If you need to do it one more time then, make it final. Come to a conclusion. It helps to write down all the reasons that this relationship does not work out for you. Why are you not happy? Get clear.

Let go of the fantasies, the “what if’s” and “if only” and the rationalizing of unacceptable behavior.

 

3) Don’t blame yourself or second-guess yourself. Nobody’s perfect. Perhaps you have made some mistakes, but regardless, you deserve better. Accept this relationship as an experience. Ask yourself, what can I learn from this?

 

4) Show yourself some love. Do things that feed your spirit and make you happy. Sometimes the smallest things have the biggest impact. Reconnect with yourself.

 

5) If you find yourself obsessing, start practicing mindfulness. Take a deep breath. Say, STOP out loud to yourself and visualize a stop sign.

Now, divert your attention to your breath as it flows in and out. Stay in the present moment. Repeat to yourself, “I choose healthy & happy”.

When you obsess about something, it is a situation from the past that you are still attached to in an unhealthy manner. Let it go!

 

He’s not the one. Let him go.

Make space for something better.

 

Develop a new mantra ~ I Choose Healthy & Happy ~

I can say this instead…



 

Instead of …                                     Try thinking…

 

– I’m not good at this                          – What am I missing?

 

– I’m awesome at this                         – I’m on the right track

 

– I give up!                                           – I’ll use a different strategy

 

– This is too hard                                – This may take some time & effort

 

– I can’t do math                                – I’m going to train my brain in math

 

– I made a mistake                             – Mistakes help me improve

 

– Its’ good enough                            – Is this really my best work?

 

– They don’t like me                         – I don’t need anyone’s approval

 

– I’m too impulsive                          – I’m very spontaneous

 

 

 

 

Why Do People Cheat?



Why do people cheat in a relationship? It’s a conscious act. They know what they are doing. It’s considered cheating when your partner is not informed or in agreement with your lack of loyalty, physically or emotionally. Yet, it is not always easy to figure out how it came to be.

Physical infidelity is getting involved in a physically sexual manner with someone who is not your monogamous partner. Emotional infidelity is when you make an emotional romantic investment, without the physical component, with someone else. Emotional infidelity is not as clear-cut as physical infidelity. It tends to develop slowly and can be a gateway to physical infidelity.

There are numerous reasons why someone cheats, including:

  • Sexual desire for someone else
  • Sexual addiction
  • Dissatisfaction with themselves
  • Dissatisfaction with their partner and relationship
  • Anger
  • Revenge
  • Boredom and seeking a novel experience
  • Thrill
  • Emotional disconnection
  • Opportunity
  • A sense of entitlement
  • Learned behavior from a parent
  • Low self esteem and insecurity
  • Feeling overwhelmed in the current relationship

But, what about love? Can you cheat on your partner and still love them?

The short answer is, “it depends”. We are human. People make mistakes. It really depends on a variety of factors – the circumstances, the reasons, and certainly the way you define love.

Infidelity is complicated. It elicits strong emotions from both the person cheating as well as the partner who has been cheated on and no matter who does it or why, it’s going to impact your relationship.

Many relationships end due to infidelity and others renew and thrive. Understanding the dynamics of what went wrong is the first step towards recovery.

 

For a New Beginning



For a New Beginning” by John O’Donohue

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

Spring Clean Your Behaviors



“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”
– Anais Nin

 

Spring Cleaning Your BehaviotSpring is a time of new beginnings. It is a time to let go of behaviors that no longer make you happy and commit to making changes.

What are some behaviors that you would like to change? Have you picked up some bad habits? Is fear stopping you from doing something?

What would help you begin that change process? Take the first step.

Here are 4 Steps to Help You Start the Change Process

1. Identify what behavior you want to change and know why you must change it. Consider the reasons why the old behavior just doesn’t serve you anymore and the benefits of the new one. Commit to your new desired behavior.

2. Set yourself up for success by preparing yourself mentally and physically for action. Begin by writing down what you have committed to and posting it somewhere that you can see it often. Be sure to include the “why” you are doing it.  Identify any obstacles and triggers that may jeopardize you and write down the solutions for these obstacles. Set up the supplies or circumstances that will help you achieve your desired results, this includes a support system. Join a gym. Throw out the cigarettes and buy carrot sticks and tic-tac’s instead. Set timers. Go buy a week’s worth of greens. Whatever your goal is-take action!

3. Take action. Think. Get clarity. Identify what you want and then commit to taking an actionable step towards your goal daily. This is where the real magic happens.

4. Maintain your new behavior by reminding yourself of the reason it’s important. Satisfaction with your new behavior is dependent upon your expectations. Keep your expectations realistic. Significant change takes time. Change is a process not an event. Slowly but surely you will meet your goals.

Maintain your new behavior for at least 30 days so a new habit begins to take place. And if you relapse to your old ways, just return to the desired behavior. It is not a sign of failure but rather another opportunity to make you stronger.

 

Celebrate Self- Love



…Because self-love extends from how we treat ourselves to how we relate to everything and everyone around us.

It’s a small shift in perspective, prompted by a smile or a kind gesture or a “just because” moment that creates magical ripples.

Love requires action and it can be expressed easily through sharing and caring. It inspires kindness, connection and gratitude. It feels good for us. It feels good for others.

Self-love is contagious.

The moment we start celebrating love for ourselves, experiences shift.

Relationships blossom. Health improves. And life begins to feel ridiculously good.

So honor who you are. Stay true to your needs. Do what truly feels right for you. Do it with grace, do it with ease. Do it for others.

Loving yourself is not a one-time event and it certainly does not have conditions. It’s a natural, non-selfish way to attract love and spread love to those around us.

Self- love comes from within. By loving ourselves, we open the doors for others to do the same.

Celebrate… Expand… Share the love.