If your child suffers from shyness, they are not alone. Recent research suggests that over 50% of the general population currently experiences some degree of shyness in their lives. Many children are shy in situations that are new to them. It can be painful if it continues to adolescence and beyond preventing them from participating fully in most social settings. Being shy is not necessarily a problem, unless it causes distress. Luckily, there are many strategies and options to help overcome shyness.

Here are some tips to help your child:

• Avoid labeling your child as shy. Reframe it as “reserved” or a “deep thinker”. You can say, “ Johnny likes to listen to others before sharing his views” or “ Mary likes to think before rushing in”.

• Some kids need time to feel comfortable or warm up, so preparing them on what to expect really helps. Do not rush them into participating.

• If you are going somewhere new, like school, try to have them meet the teacher and get familiar with the school grounds prior to the fist day of school.  You can also use the Internet to show them pictures of where they will be going, which will give them a general idea.

• Take time to talk to them about what they could expect socially, in different settings, and how to handle sticky situations. Role-play with them or simply offer suggestions and brainstorm about possible solutions to scenarios.

• For example, if it is lunchtime and your child isn’t certain where he should sit, he can try preplanning it with someone from class before lunch or identify possible lunch buddies and practice conversation starters that he can use.

• Help them practice on how to approach other kids and speak up in class. Develop topics of conversation that their peers may find interesting. Using open-ended questions usually prompts conversations.

• Encourage using “I” statements instead of “you” statements that can often cause others to become defensive.

• Bring to their awareness social interactions such as using humor, standing up for yourself, saying “no”, asking for something and apologizing as they happen in everyday life.

• Encourage your child to sign up for some sort of sport, club or extracurricular activity. Whether it’s a team sport or theatre, dance, karate, gymnastics, it will give them the opportunity to interact and have something to talk about with their peers.

• Shyness and anxiety go hand in hand and many times it is actually not a skill deficit but rather a lack of self-confidence.

• Remind your child of past successes. Give them confidence but don’t push them. They will evolve gradually when they’re ready.

Above all, love and accept you child’s personality and remind them to do the same. They are their own unique, perfect self.